Dear Leo & Leandra

I met someone at one of your events, but the girl really didn't take notice of me. I'm very shy and a little nervous about asking her out, in fact I only said hello to her. How do I break the ice? and how can I find out if she is interest in me without looking like a silly fool?

Thank you
Mr. Shy Guy

Dear Mr. Shy Guy,

First of all, is she dating someone? If so you'll not only look like a silly fool, you'll be very disappointed. If she is available....well here we go.

Wait till the next event is coming up, post to her (on MSN & Yahoo) that you hope to see her there to, something like; hey this looks fun, will you be going too?

DON'T say much of anything else, wait for a response. She may say one of several things.
1. HER; I may go, but it seems a little far for me.
YOU; If your interested in going, maybe we could get a few of the others together & car pool. (non threatening, "others" is used to provide security for her sake.)
2. HER; no I am not going to make this one I have other plans.
YOU;Other plans? Will you be busy all weekend? My friend and I are going out Sat night to ______ would you like to join us. (non threatening.)
3. HER; who the hell are you and what's it to you?!
YOU; We met at _____ I was asking you because I enjoyed seeing your beautiful face and was hoping, I would get the chance to see it again.

HERE'S THE THING;
DON'T email her out of the blue, and ask her out. When you see her post, respond to it. Then at the next event you could start by talking about the posts on the message boards. Make sure, not to expose your intentions of dating her until you become somewhat sure of her interest in you. (This is done so you don't seem like a SILLY FOOL)

And if I see you just sitting there, staring at her, not going for it, You'll see me walk away hand and hand with her. (at that time I will turn to you and say YOU SILLY FOOL).

Dear Mr. Shy Guy,

You don't think she took notice. Do you know why that would be? When you said hello to her, did you just walk away after? You could have given her the impression that you weren't interested in her?

Saying hello is a start. Being shy is a quality that sometimes is very hard to overcome.

NJ-Singles.com has a few outlets for this.
1. Our message boards (on MSN & Yahoo) are always full with topics of interest or just idle chit-chat. If she posts....then respond to her posts. Try to get involved and strike up a topic of interests this way, and maybe that will lead to one-on-one emails.
2. We have started chat again. Hopefully she participates and so should you.
3. Since you met her at an outing then go to another one and find a seat near her. Strike up a conversation about the outing, the weather, her sweater or just about anything. Women usually know when the man is shy and they are looking for conversation. If we are interested we will usually make the conversation easy going and free flowing.
4. You could also send her an eCard or Poof-TA-DA, something simple, non committal, just say"hi" again
5. And last but not least, talk to the people who put the event together where you met her. Ask them what they know about her. Find out if she's seeing someone and was only at the event to hang out with friends.

Anything you do will be the beginning of breaking the ice and also helping you through your shyness. Sometimes you need to take a chance and push that shyness down deep. If you do not try, you will never know. Hey.....she may be just as shy as you are.....did you ever think of that :-)

No More Mr. Shy Guy
Good Luck,
Leandra